My Blog Has Moved!

After a short time here at  blogger.com I have decided to move my blog to a domain more suitable to my needs.  On Blogger, readers of my blog are required to have a Google account and become members of my blog in order to leave comments or interact with my content in any way. This basically defeated the purpose of even having a blog, so I moved to WordPress, which is much more reader-friendly.

Please visit my new blog at http://lifewithasideofsarcasm.wordpress.com/

I hope to see you all there!

Thanks for your support!
Lisa

Commercials That Miss the Mark (Part 2)

A few days ago, I posted about several commercials that didn’t make sense to me for some reason or another.  Here are some more commercials that four out of five psychiatrists agree you’d have to be certifiably crazy to enjoy.

Nationwide Insurance – In this vomit-inducing series of ads, Nationwide shows their self-proclaimed “The World’s Greatest Spokesperson in the World” explaining various features of insurance products.  Then he starts crooning the “Nationwide is on your side” tune, often challenging his victims to sing more out of tune than he is.  Awesome.

And while we’re on the subject of singing…

My heart dies a little bit every time a commercial comes on that features a warbly-voiced woman screeching out a tune in the background.  The two biggest offenders lately are the Truvia and Citi card ads.  There isn’t enough Clorox on the planet to brain-bleach those craptastic renditions out of my head. 

Even the guitar-strumming lesbians at Starbucks on Tuesday nights sing better songs than this.

Since somebody left the gate open, take your lame voice and ass through it and leave.

 

Amazon.com – A woman is walking, presumably home from work, down a street in what appears to be a large city.  Surprise #1: There’s a package from Amazon.com clearly marked with the Kindle logo leaning against her front door.  Surprise #2: It’s still there after being out in the open in a busy urban area all day.  Surprise #3: She pulls her Kindle Fire out of the box right there on her steps, magically boots it up without benefit of charging the battery and surfs through apps that she’d have to download to get. 



Rice Krispies – If there is anything more fun than eating Rice Krispies Treats, it’s making them.  Now both things are unappealing to me after seeing the commercial where the Mom is helping her kids make a batch of Treats.  Little kids are notorious for not always washing their hands after using the bathroom or picking their noses, and watching these waifs simultaneously eat handfuls of Krispies and mashing the marshmallow mush between their fingers makes me sick.  I’m not the only one.  At one point, the little kid touches a  particular treat and proudly states, “This one’s for Daddy!”  I hope Daddy enjoys diarrhea.

Another cereal commercial that makes me shake my head is for Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  One piece of cereal stands on the edge of the bowl and eats another piece out of the milk.  Cereal cannibalism, anyone?  Even stranger, this Hannibal Lector of cereal has its own Facebook page.

“But Wait, There’s More!!!!!” commercials – First, the voiceover excitedly explains what the product is and how amazing it is that you have lived your life this long without it.  A price is given.  But Wait, There’s More!!!!! Now you have the opportunity to own not one, but TWO, products! Just pay separate shipping and handling! If I didn’t want one Lint Lizard or Pasta Boat pasta strainer, why the hell would I want two?  Especially if I’m paying separate shipping and handling – translation…send us an additional $11.99 so we can send you your free gift.  Sign me up for that.

As hard as it may be to believe, there are commercials out there that I enjoy watching (or ones that don’t irritate the crap out of me).  I’ll explore those in a future blog entry.  Stay tuned.



Commercials That Miss the Mark (Part 1)

We can all agree that there are plenty of annoying commercials on TV.  Some are irritating because of their content, others because of the number of times they are shown.  In fact, there are so many stupid commercials that I can’t possibly discuss them in just one blog entry.
 

So here we go with Part 1. These commercials have elements that distract me from whatever product or service they are shilling:

Totino Pizza Rolls – At least I think that’s what they are selling.  I’m too distracted by the kid talking to his mother on the phone to know for sure.  First, he can’t find the pizza rolls in the freezer, even though they are two inches from his face.  Second, he nods at the phone like his mom can see him.  By the time this moron leaves the phone in the freezer, I’m wondering why his mother trusts him to safely use the microwave at all.

ATT U-verse Home Bundle – On Career Day, a cable guy has taken time out of his busy schedule to perform a community service for a local school.  How is his generosity rewarded?  Some snooty brat tells him how inferior his service is to AT&T’s and argues with him when he tries to explain what he offers.  The teacher not only tolerates the brat’s disrespectful behavior, but she also joins in to ridicule the guy. I get that AT&T just wants to compare and contrast their bundles with those offered by cable companies, but watching smug kids embarrass an adult doesn’t sell me anything.

ATT Wireless Internet – I’m not picking on AT&T, but they have another commercial featuring a child getting all high and mighty on an adult.  This time, a father is looking for his computer cord.  The mother very nicely explains that they now have wireless internet at home and on the go.  The daughter’s only contributions come in the form of two snarky remarks to Dad (“It’s an invisible cord, Dad!” and “The cord’s really long, Dad!”) Dad ought to remind her who pays for the internet service and take it away until she can learn some respect.

Temptations by Jell-O – Kids aren’t the only ones misbehaving in commercials. Here, a mother is telling her children a story about a chocobeast monster or some such nonsense that attacks children who steal Temptations from their parents.  The chocobeast (Dad) suddenly appears, scaring the poor kids senseless.  It’s ironic that a product marketed directly at adults is using such juvenile means to do so.  Maybe Mom and Dad should have spent time at the grocery store buying snacks for the whole family instead of scarring their children for life over Jell-O.

Check back soon when I dissect commercials from Nationwide, Amazon.com, Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal and others.

What commercials do you love to hate?  Let me know in the comments and they might appear in a future blog entry.

The Hunger Games, Starring Local Moviegoers

This weekend, my Princess and I went to see The Hunger Games at our local theatre.  We showed up 45 minutes before showtime only to be told the 2:10 showing was sold out.  We then bought tickets to the next showing an hour later.  Fast forward to 30 minutes before the 3:10 showing when we entered the theatre that was already over 1/3 full.  We selected a row that had 5 empty seats on the aisle.  Princess left an empty seat next to the person already sitting there, and I sat next to her, leaving two empty seats between me and the aisle.  Since I didn’t want cinemuck on the bottom of my purse, I placed it in the seat next to mine instead of on the floor.

Right before the previews started, I decided to visit the restroom since the movie is nearly two-and-a-half hours long. As I was getting up, a woman in her mid-thirties asked me if the seats next to me were taken.  I said no, moved my purse into my seat and left the theatre.  When I came back, the seats were still empty. Princess said, “That woman who was here when you left was rude to me.”  As I was processing this information, said woman, a.k.a. “The Bitch”, known from this point as B, appeared beside me with her hands on her hips.  She loudly stated, “So is she going to move down or WHAT?!?”  I responded with an “Excuse me??”  B responded, “I asked her to move down a seat so me and my three friends could sit here, and she said she wouldn’t move until you got back.  So is she moving or what?”  After I smirked and rolled my eyes at B, Princess and I moved down one seat while I wondered how they planned to fit 4 asses into three seats. 

B plopped down in my old seat, then whipped around and said, “Why do you have to be like that?” I considered her for a second, then said, “Look. We moved down like you asked, even after you were rude to my daughter. Have a seat and enjoy the movie.” Her reply was, “Well, she said she wouldn’t move down until you got back, which I thought was rather ODD.”  Oh B, you don’t want to insult my daughter twice.  My response? “Well, I think it’s rather ODD that you and your friends come into a popular movie right before it starts and expect everyone to accommodate you.  If you and your three friends wanted to sit together, you should have gotten here early like the rest of us.”  B, clearly flustered, started blubbering about their busy schedule, when one of her cronies said, “Let’s just find somewhere else.”  Maybe she had figured out the 4 asses:3 seats ratio. B and her posse left in a huff, brushing rudely against an older man and woman who asked if the seats next to me were taken.  I said, “I would be HAPPY for you to take those seats!”  At this point, the six people sitting in the row directly in front of us turned around and applauded…I kid you not.  I’m guessing they had heard how rude B was to my Princess because they all said I did the right thing by standing up to an obnoxious person like her.

I know Miss Manners would never approve of my behavior, but nobody disrespects my Princess without the Mama Bear in me coming out, claws and all.  Fast forward to the end of the movie – Princess and I were waiting at our seats for the theatre to clear out so we could leave.  A man who had been sitting a couple of rows back walked up to me and said, “I just wanted you to know how much I admire you putting that spoiled brat in her place.  People like her need to be taught they can’t always get their way.”

For a moment, just for a moment, I felt a little like Katniss, unwillingly placed at odds against her peers, protecting Rue, and winning not only the Game but the respect of the people.

Only kidding.  I just felt I needed to at least mention something about the movie since its name is in my title. J

Oddly, it wasn't teenagers who were being obnoxious.

Public Display of Affection

Okay, so my DH, the Princess and I were enjoying dinner yesterday at a local casual dining establishment.  We were enjoying it, that is, until a couple of teenagers sat in the booth next to us.  After a few minutes, the young girl kissed her boyfriend on the cheek and gave him a cute smile.  His response was to give her a quick peck on the lips.  Awww, young love.

 “Awww” quickly turned to “ewww” as those sweet kisses morphed into an all-out tonsil-tasting never-ending grope session.  Since Mommy clearly didn’t teach you any better, please consider the following:

In the event my Princess one day forgets this lesson, DH and I are prepared to deliver this friendly reminder:



Remember, kids – PDA is not OK.

Men's Fashion...Um, Yeah

Once upon a time, men’s fashion looked like this:

If current trends are any indication, “cringe worthy” doesn’t even begin to describe the new definition of men’s fashion.  For your consideration:

Mantyhose – What has long been the bane of every woman’s existence is now trending for men?  They can have them. Apparently, mantyhose are all the rage in Europe, where men wear them under their clothes for added smoothness and additional warmth. I’m guessing these are not control-top hose. That would make things quite challenging at the urinal, no?

The Man Bun – Men’s hair styles, just like women’s, are ever-evolving animals.  In the case of the man bun, the species should have become extinct before this creature was spawned.  I can almost understand it for athletes like Tom Brady and David Beckham, who need to keep their long hair out of their faces, but as a fashion statement, it’s just plain silly.  Still better than a mullet, I guess.





Chris Jones of Bravo’s Top Chef - Texas

The Cowboy Tennis Shoe by Adidas© – What dark corner of hell did these come from?  Clearly the person who was able to talk this atrocity past Adidas© executives and into production made a deal with the devil.

 

Meanwhile, back on Earth, who would wear these?  Imagine walking onto the basketball court or into a country/western bar with these on.  You’d have your ass handed to you at either place. But hey, what do I know? Maybe forward-thinkers like Mark Cuban and Jerry Jones will have their respective teams sporting these next season, perhaps with mantyhose.  Yeehaw!

Jolie Redux

My good friend Robyn sent me several interesting articles today regarding Angelina Jolie and her right leg.  This one made me laugh the most.

If both of Angelina's legs were showing:

Thanks, Robyn!